The drama of dating can be abrasive on one’s emotions: breaking up, cheating, and avoiding rebounds. The infamous line, “I just want to be friends,” has spawned many a recurring nightmare in a spurned lover. To be able to handle the ups and downs of a relationship, no matter the stage it’s in, and to avoid these tragic situations altogether, you need to know and apply the Trilogy of C’s. These are confidence, charm, and challenge. Make the time you spend with your significant other awe-inspiring (confidence, charm) and do not hesitate to be the one to end the date (challenge). Their demand for you will rise if everything does not go exactly their way.
Confidence ― The Fascination Factor
Confidence and character are key forces in forcing the hand of change in any situation or sphere of influence. These forces are transmitters, meaning they have both bearing and consequence. In this case, the potential bearing is the acquisition of a positive force in your life, with increasing life energy and important social dynamics for you.
Self-confidence is an attitude which allows you to have positive yet realistic views of yourself and your abilities to take on situations and scenarios. If you feel you have to prove yourself to another person that is not confidence. It is false bravado, and people’s keen senses can pick up on it very quickly. They will sense it in you without consciously realizing it, and it will turn them off. Remember, confidence is attractive to everyone, both men and women.
Confidence is an essential ingredient in the art of seduction, because without it, you will not seem certain that you want what you are pursuing (the other person). They will sense this and be put off by your uncertainty and lack of dedication, both to yourself and to them.
Charm ― The Art of Sincerity
An enchanting person walks into the room; you and those surrounding you gawk. “Look over there!” you say. “Who is that?” The newcomer walks over to someone and smiles, an infectious expression that spreads throughout the room. This enigma then spots another acquaintance and makes a remark. The addressed starts to blush. The stranger then sees you and your companions sitting at your table, and struts your way. You are all frozen in your seats, caught in an undeniable spell. Without even trying, they have captivated all of you. “What a cute smile you have!” they say to you. You cannot help but flash a huge grin. You have just been charmed.
Charm is the art of sincere complimenting, of making someone feel special by acknowledging their existence as unique and desired. Sincere means genuine compliments, not flattery. Flattery is carried with a plan behind the words, using compliments as a means toward your own end. Because flattery is rampant, women assume that men are expecting something in return when they receive a compliment.
Everybody loves to be spoiled and verbally pampered, so long as they are having fun with you. Therefore, attention should be seen as a means of having fun, not a chance to butter someone up. Remember, people feel uncomfortable when attention is drawn to their appearance, even if the words that address their hair, face, or other feature are complimentary. People feel much more comfortable when the attention they are given is entertaining; including them in a joke is one of the best ways to do this.
Time your praise. Compliments are all about timing, and are usually most effective immediately after someone does something they deserve praise for.
To be a truly charming person, compliment someone without expecting anything in return. Charm is a part of your personality; it means you exude confidence and let people know how good you feel about simply being in their presence. To build charm, begin by complimenting your neighbors, teachers, friends, and even people you see on the street. Find the good in others and make note of it out loud. People will be drawn to you and feel good about you as you draw attention to their positive traits.
Challenge ― If You Cannot Keep Them
Isn’t it strange and confusing how even the most confident, good-looking, and charming man or woman can lose their love? Sure, the process of attraction and charm is a thrill, but it grows wearying if the lover cannot be kept. A person who lacks challenge is the type who finds out that someone is attracted to them, and then goes out of their way to spill their life story at the first possible moment.
There is something precious about the familiar, though. Heading back home after a long day at work to find your sweetheart waiting for you with a predictable cup of tea and your favorite television show is comforting.
Look at the symbol of the yin-yang. It represents very well the mysterious and the familiar. Two halves of a whole, neither larger than the other, create a perfect circle where harmony is achieved. Both sides have black and white, with just enough of each to balance out the other. Everything can be described as either yin or yang. Yin and yang are opposites, the polar sides that consume, compliment, and support one another. What goes up must come down; yin and yang are interdependent.
Unfortunately, when a chance at seduction finally comes your way, your tendency may be to lose part―if not all―of yourself in a head-over-heels effort to become something familiar and safe for your potential lover. The key to successful seduction is maintaining a balance of emotional responses and actions. This may seem like a strange idea, but balance as an ideal goes all the way back to 500 BCE, when Lao Tzu wrote the Tao Te Ching and created the familiar black and white circle known as the yin-yang. When it comes to seduction, learn to balance your emotions, having both yin and yang in all you do and say. Keep your air of mystery while slowly becoming something familiar they will need at their side.
As the Curtains Rise
An actor on stage makes constant discoveries about the character they are playing as they journey through the days of rehearsals and shows. A great actor knows where and when to move to promote the action of the play and to develop the personality of the character. The actor listens closely to the other characters for guidance and wisdom, and cues for when to continue the scene.
Discover how to act in your own life. Learn how to remove the barricades that prevent you from enjoying every day to the fullest. Listen in ways that promote your potential. Discover who you are and the purpose for your life. Here are simple ideas that a great actor on stage will use. Do not forget to act the part of your character. Do they dance? Do they cook? Do they know their wines? Make it real. Learn what they would need to know. Step into the role of the character that is you.
- Dress and look your best at all times, wearing clothes that fit you and show that you have style yet know how to keep it real.
- Take inventory of all the good reasons you have to cultivate self-esteem today. No matter the storms raging outside, you can revel in the calm within.
- Respond to compliments with a simple “thank you.” No need to get embarrassed or flustered―allow a feeling of warmth and appreciation to spread through your heart.
- Walk with an authoritative step in public, but don’t be haughty. Carry yourself with the pride of being unique!
- Set your own internal standard rather than comparing yourself to others. You are your own best measuring stick.
- Use encouraging, affirmative language when you talk to yourself or to others about yourself. Disparaging yourself is just as bad as talking about others behind their backs.
Keep a self-development plan ongoing at all times. Give yourself playful reminders throughout the day as you strive to reach goals, and don’t punish yourself when you fall short of the mark. Use encouraging self-talk and try again.
Concentrate all your energy and intensity, without distraction, on successful completion of your play. Play, and the freedom of imagination, is where you will tap into your energies and break free to surprise the world.
The influence of seduction is a legacy. You have to be charismatic in order to pull it off. Seducing someone might seem to be strenuous undertaking, but once you know the secret in doing so, it wouldn’t be any dilemma for you. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, walking at the outer side to protect them, guiding them with your hand at the small of their back. Nothing is more seductive than the rekindling of good manners and courtesy.
Beyond Your Wildest Dreams
Identify your target’s favorite emotion, and then simply go out of your way to supply that emotion in quantities that person has never experienced before. To open is to seduce and to seduce is to open! Seduction self-confidence and an understanding of humor helps too. We can cause specific things to come about by thought, and we can cause certain things to transpire by action. Both are needed for things to take place completely. I honestly believe uncovering uniqueness and values will take you to the next level.
You may even be shocked, and a little scared by the stuff you find out. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
They are the five senses of knowledge―seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching. With these five sensations, we come in contact with things in the world outside, and enjoy them with actions and reactions produced thereby, by means of such a sensory contact.